Beth Dean, Columnist, MSnewsChannel.com
Parts of my body may be damaged and broken, but my heart definitely is not, and I love them with every ounce of it! Multiple
Sclerosis may affect my body and my whole life. But it will not touch
my children. It will not take their happiness. And it will not affect my
ability to love them just like a REAL mom.
There’s
nothing like kids. They can bounce back from anything, make you laugh,
make you cry unfortunately and love you like you have never been loved
before. I never had trouble explaining my illness to my 9 year old. He
understands my limitations and even gets concerned for me at times. My 3
year old….that’s a different story! She’s full of energy and funny to
the extreme. Always on the go and doesn’t stop except for the occasional
episode of SpongeBob Squarepants and a cup of chocolate milk. It really
hit me a few days ago that she was confused. My guess is she overheard
me tell my mother I was tired and my legs were achey. She looks at me
and says one sentence that would surely break any
parents heart. “Mommy, I just want you to be better…all the time” It
killed me, cut me to the core.
How
do you explain to a small child exactly what is going on? Are you going
to die? Why aren’t you sick on the outside? All good
questions…heartbreaking questions coming from your little baby girl I
might add! All I knew to say was, Mommies body is sick on the inside. I
don’t look sick, except when Mommy gets tired or sleepy in the middle of
the day. I showed her how I give my shot, which she thought was very
cool…wish I did. She kissed my boo boo (as she calls it) from giving my
injection. Then jumped up and ran to color me a picture on the sidewalk
with chalk. Is it that easy for a kid? They care, they worry and they
mourn just like us…but they forgive and accept better than full grow
adults! I wish I was a kid again. Nothing bad seems as bad, and you feel
safe and protected no matter what. It’s times like these that make me
angry that I have MS. I want to be healthy and active for my kids. I
real mom….a regular one! But I just have to accept that I’m the mom I am
and I’m trying my best. I hate they have to see me struggle on my bad
days, but I try to make them few and far between. I mask the pain and
anger with jokes and tickles, but they know. I guess you just have to
show them things will be ok. Answer their questions as honestly as you
can. Ease their minds at your expense and show them that love has no
limitations.
Beth Dean, Columnist, MSnewsChannel.com
