Sunday, July 28, 2013


Beth Dean, Columnist,
Parts of my body may be damaged and broken, but my heart definitely is not, and I love them with every ounce of it! Multiple Sclerosis may affect my body and my whole life. But it will not touch my children. It will not take their happiness. And it will not affect my ability to love them just like a REAL mom.

There’s nothing like kids. They can bounce back from anything, make you laugh, make you cry unfortunately and love you like you have never been loved before. I never had trouble explaining my illness to my 9 year old. He understands my limitations and even gets concerned for me at times. My 3 year old….that’s a different story! She’s full of energy and funny to the extreme. Always on the go and doesn’t stop except for the occasional episode of SpongeBob Squarepants and a cup of chocolate milk. It really hit me a few days ago that she was confused. My guess is she overheard me tell my mother I was tired and my legs were achey. She looks at me and says one sentence that would surely break any parents heart. “Mommy, I just want you to be better…all the time” It killed me, cut me to the core.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013


I have never particularly liked going to the doctor, but since my diagnosis with MS I LOATH IT! Of course they always make you fill out paper work each visit no matter what kind of doctor or visit it is. The usual questions….Name, birthday, do you smoke, kids, surgeries….and then the dreaded question. Have you been diagnosed with a illness in the past year? Dear God I hate answering this question!!! I know I have to…need to put yes, Multiple Sclerosis. But every inch of me wants to put NO…I’m FINE! But I such it up and be a big girl and write my disease and all my medicines down in the little box provided. I set, and wait. Wait for the usual reaction that usually follows. By the time I’m called back to see the doctor, I have prepared myself for the bombardment that is soon to come. Yet as soon as the words leave my doctor’s mouth “ You have MS…You’re so young, how’d it happen? Awe I’m sorry. That’s sad…you have your whole life ahead of you” my face turns into a grimace. I grit my teeth and reply to all their questions as politely as possible. But let’s just be honest, this happens so frequently that now a days politeness is a rare occurrence! Yes I am young, it happened all of a damn sudden, yeah it’s okay….and YEAH, I do have my whole life ahead of me. I think I’m doing pretty damn good. I try very hard not to let this crap get me down. I definitely don’t need a pity party and for people to act like my life is over. It’s far from over. I won’t let that happen if at all possible. I plan on fighting this thing as hard as possible! I will not set my ass in a wheelchair until that is my only option. I will NOT cry in front of anyone, because I don’t want to appear weak. I will NOT complain and whine all day everyday so people can thing. Poor little thing. Forget that! Days are shitty for sure. Some days I can’t stand my own self. I feel like digging a hole and jumping in, but to do so that would require me to dig a hole and jump in and I haven’t got the energy to do either! I just want to live my life. As hard and complicated as it is. I want to struggle silently on my bad days and laugh loudly on the others. And when I do feel low I have a great support community in Stan’s Angels. They get me through!! And the support of my friends and family make me strong. I am 28 years old. Diagnosed with MS. I have 2 kids that I care for full time! I have a boyfriend, I am a daughter, sister and friend. I am making it…And that’s what I really feel like writing in those damn little boxes at the doctor’s office!

Saturday, July 6, 2013


My name is Beth. A 28 year old mother of two who just so happened to get diagnosed with MS in October 2012. During the time of my diagnosis I was going through a divorce. Married for 8 years to my high school sweetheart. It all went downhill due to many poor decisions and just not enough love. I got blessed with my first baby Landon in February 04’…2 days before my 19th birthday. Laynee followed many years later In September 09’. Through it all they have been my rocks….my little rays of sunshine during my cloudy days.

I have a very tight knit family, and the heart of that family would most definitely be my mother. That lady is amazing! She inspires me everyday. Married for 34 years to the love of her life. We lost my dad in June of 07’ to a massive heart attack, very unexpected and extremely devastating. She pressed on though. She taught me how to be a good mother, daughter, sister, friend and wife. Made sure I went to every doctor’s appointment, and even through my stubborness….made sure I did exactly what the doctor’s said.

 Mothers….I am they baby of three kids. Blessed with two older brothers. They love to torment me, poke fun of me, and push me for greatness. They have had no problems with making fun of me and my illness WITH me. We laugh a lot….and always smile. Mick & Jamie are two of my best friends. They cried with me through the pain and scary times, and laughed with me during the silly ones. I truly don’t know where I would be without those two. I have two nieces…Jillian & Kendal, and a nephew Scott that has been my little motivators. Now setting down when these three are present. Aunt Bee ( that’s what they call me ) can NOT use but I’m sick….or I have MS as an excuse when I have all these little faces looking at me. They keep me young, active and healthy. I would take nothing for them. My sister-in-law Chastity…who always keeps me on my toes. If I sound bored or down…It’s not for long. She makes sure I am entertained and tries like hell to make me live life to the fullest!

My boyfriend Jason, his daughter Becka and his whole family. They have only been in my life for 6 months, but I can honestly say I couldn’t imagine my life without them. I really don’t think I’ve ever been this happy…it’s a strange feeling but one I wouldn’t trade for anything!

And last but not least….my best friend and sister at heart Felicia. This girl has stuck by my side since I was 11. She was there through my crazy times, my divorce, my diagnosis...everything! She took time out of her busy schedule to take me to my MS specialist over 3 hours away multiple times. When I was in the hospital she was there. On my shitty days, she was always calling to cheer me up. She MAKES me get out of the house whether I want to or not and I’m always thankful! She’ll never know how much she is appreciated, or how much I love her. She is the epitome of a best friend! I know many of you are probably thinking…I thought this was suppose to be an introduction to you?!?!

Well ya see, these people are me. They are the most important part of me. They make me who I am, they are in everything I do, they are in every single moment of my life that I am happy. Family is were it’s at, and I have the best one out there!